Publisher to keynote parent parley
By Debra Carr-Elsing, The Capital Times
Play groups are still around, but the newest generation of mothers -- Gen Xers -- turn to the Internet and get a lot of support online.
For example, check out www.hipmama.com.
"There's hardly 30 minutes in a day that we can get together with 'mom allies' so the Internet provides a kind of support that is in some ways deeper and more helpful, but it doesn't heal the isolation so many of us feel as mothers," says Ariel Gore, editor and publisher of Hip Mama: The Parenting Zine (www.hipmamazine.com).
Gore is nationally known for being an important voice for Gen X mothers. She's written several parenting books, including "The Hip Mama Survival Guide, "Breeder: Real Life Stories From the New Generation of Mothers" and "Whatever, Mom: Hip Mama's Guide to Raising a Teenager."
Gore will be the keynote speaker at 10 a.m. Saturday during the Madison Birth Center parenting conference at the Mariott-Madison West."
The Internet can provide amazing and important support, and the fact that geographical boundaries are erased makes our communities vast, but the sad truth is that we are logging on in the middle of the night to find connections," said Gore in a phone interview from Portland, Ore., where she lives.
Gore uses humor to tell the tale of "echo boomers" -- kids of baby boomers -- who also struggle to balance work, family and the creation of a larger community. Her goal is to motivate all mothers to view their daily challenges as being intertwined with the struggle for social change.
"A lot of us don't feel like we can kill our televisions even though we'd like to," Gore says. "Our TV sets are our baby sitters sometimes.
"So we weigh our philosophies with the need to survive, and thrive in a culture that pays lip service to families but offers no support."
In many ways, the emotional experience of motherhood is universal, she adds. The changes come in the social pressures, which continue to put pressure on moms to be super-human.
"Poor, single and young moms find themselves particularly open to insult from society at large, from politicians to strangers on the street," Gore says. "We love our kids fiercely and work out butts off as we try to remember that we had kids because mothering is good for the soul."
Aviva Jill Romm, a certified nurse midwife, author of several parenting books and president of the American Herbalists Guild, agrees that parenting is a challenging and humbling task, offering opportunities for decision-making at every turn.
She will be on a panel of experts, discussing childhood immunizations, at the parenting conference here Saturday.
"For 20 years, vaccinations have been a source of controversy and concern for parents," said Romm, in an?interview from her home in Atlanta, Ga.
The good news is that vaccines are significantly safer nowadays, she adds. But parents still need to weigh the likelihood of exposure to a particular disease with the risks and benefits of its vaccine.
"Whether parents choose to vaccinate or not, they need to take responsibility for their children's health and immune systems," Romm says.
Besides that, parents are responsible for their children's diet, exercise and psychological well-being, she adds.
Author of "The Natural Pregnancy Book" and "Naturally Healthy Babies and Children," Romm says that in direct response to the women's movement, there was a renaissance of interest in natural childbirth in the late '60s.
This followed the first feminist trend in childbirth, which was an era when women's empowerment meant not having to feel the pain of childbirth and many birthing mothers wanted to be heavily sedated.
In the '70s, birthing women turned away from heavy sedation, and the contemporary childbirth movement emerged, with a focus on childbirth empowerment, woman-centered care and control, fathers being present at birth, childbirth education and the use of midwives.
"The renaissance in the natural birthing movement was paralleled historically with a renaissance in the back-to-the-land movement and an acceptance of herbal medicine, Romm says.
"People want to be more empowered, and they want alternatives to pharmaceuticals," Romm says.
However, during the first trimester of pregnancy -- when a baby is developing all of its vital organs -- Romm doesn't advocate even the use of herbs.
"I simply encourage women to eat well and to get plenty of rest," she says.
"If they're having a lot of nausea, though, I might suggest some ginger tea, which can be effective."
Raspberry tea is another good tonic during pregnancy, she says.
To promote sleep and muscle relaxation, Romm suggests small amounts of chamomile tea about an hour or two before going to bed.
Young children who are teething also can benefit from a combination of chamomile tea with some lavender blossoms.
"A baby who's a few months old can be given this combination through an eyedropper, or, if the mom is breastfeeding, she can simply drink the tea, and the volatile oil will go through her breast milk and get to the baby that way," Romm says.
"Then it will help mom relax, too."
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The Capital Times
September 14, 2004
