For Partners
Expecting partners have a unique experience of pregnancy. While you can share experiences with your pregnant partner in many ways, from weight gain to labor pains, for many the weeks of pregnancy are an exercise in trust. Because you are not experiencing the physical change and growth of pregnancy, it can be challenging to take in and take on your changing role.
Some of the most common questions of a partner are: is this safe? What am I supposed to be doing? What can I do to help? What the heck does all this feel like, anyway?
Pregnancy is one of those interesting times in life where we seek help from a health care provider without actually having an illness, which can be disorienting. As partner to a pregnant woman, we encourage you to join her in her pregnancy visits, ask questions, and educate yourself about normal, healthy pregnancy and all your options. Talk to other men and women who have supported their partners through pregnancy, birth, and after the birth. Talk to them about their experiences in breastfeeding. It is especially helpful to connect with others who have received care from midwives and had birth center and home birth experiences. It is also helpful to educate yourself about standard pregnancy and birth practices, and why they may or may not serve a beneficial purpose to you and your family.
When partners feel safe in labor and birth, they experience a lightening of responsibility. Birth at a birth center or home provides you with the opportunity to focus all your love and support on your laboring partner. You are freed from the responsibility of providing comfort in labor alone, as the midwives and birth team are available to provide additional support. Because our midwives communicate openly and frequently with you and your partner directly, you can trust that you are having a healthy experience, and that if questions arise, you need not feel divided between trusting your care provider, and respecting your partner’s wishes.
Your primary job in the pregnancy, labor and birth process is to love your partner. It is to help her feel secure. What and how you do this matters less, with your heart in the driver’s seat you can allow the road to unfold in front of you. No one expects you to be an expert; you don’t need to memorize all the tricks, all the areas to massage or put heat on or ice on; simply love her and love your baby and enjoy the process.