The time was 2:00 AM on Monday, June 1, 2009. I woke up and was officially 9 days past my due date (May 23rd). Naturally, I thought it was just that usual time… my first bathroom trip of the night. But I was soon to realize that it was not at all “the usual”. Before I continue from that point, let me briefly outline the day before.
It was a lazy Sunday at home with my wonderful & loving husband, Fernando (a.k.a Paco). More specifically, it was the last day of May and it appeared that our Chiquita wasn’t going to be born that month after all, which truthfully made me a little sad. But, we went on with our day and did the usual; ate a good breakfast, went to the grocery store, and napped on and off. My plans for the next day were to head off to work (with less than enthusiasm), first going to the birth center for a check-up with Anastasia. But, late that lazy Sunday afternoon I lost my mucus plug while going to the bathroom. I remember feeling excited, and at the same I didn’t want to jump to any “labor conclusions” just yet. However, I definitely was feeling “different” by the time I went to bed later that night.
Forward to 2:00 AM on Monday, June 1. I woke up with some cramping in my lower back. Thinking nothing of it yet, I went to the bathroom, then returned to bed to go back to sleep. But I wasn’t able to return to my relaxed state due to the lower back cramps that continued to come roughly every 15-20 minutes. In the midst of my tired haze, I heard the wise & reassuring voices of Aszani, Anastasia, & Mary in my mind saying, “…if you begin labor in the middle of the night, go back to bed and try to rest, rest, rest.” So after giving my hubby a sweet kiss as he so calmly slept the night away, I told myself to relax and try to return to sleep. After about an hour and a half of the cramping, I still wasn’t 100% sure if it was “the big day” because all of the “aching” was mainly in my lower back. These aches reminded me of those annoying menstrual cramps, but magnified. Up to that point, I had been cramping on and off for about month. However, those mild cramps (a.k.a early stages of dilation) were not like the ones occurring on this very early Monday morning. Something had changed; energy was shifting.
Once I fully accepted what was happening (labor day!), it was somewhat difficult for me to relax. My mind didn’t seem to want to stop the excitement (or the fear) from bubbling up. I then decided to wake up my husband after the pattern was establishing itself. I turned over to him (more like grunted and rolled over, ha-ha) and said, “Babe, I think it’s finally happening…” He quickly woke up and asked, “Do you want me to call the birth center?” But I decided to take a shower first. Ahhhhh, did that feel wonderful. In the mean time, Paco started to prepare for the day ahead. Our plan was for me to labor and give birth at home and in the water.
It’s now some time around 5:00 AM and after my long, warm shower we decided to call the birth center to have their answering service contact the midwife on-call. The wonderful, nurturing woman that called us back within minutes was Mary Moore. What a delight to hear her calm voice on the other end of the line. After she & I spoke and gathered where I was at mentally and physically, I’ll never forget what she said to me just before we hung up, “Awesome – we’re gonna have us a baby some time today.” Those words will sit with me forever… Yay!! The time has finally come!! I could tell that she was excited and that really made me feel confident. (Later, we had to giggle at the fact that it wasn’t until very early the next day that Penélope was born!)
Ok, so now it’s about 7:00 AM. I recall this time because I moved to our living area to try and get more comfortable and The Today show had just started. Ha, trying to get comfortable and maybe even fall back asleep wasn’t exactly happening, but I was working through each contraction fairly well as they came and went about every 10-12 minutes at that point. Paco was making breakfast and a fresh-fruit smoothie for me (which I threw up a little later, ugh). I had already called my Mama – she was well on her way up to Madison from Elkhorn, WI and was excited as ever!! I warned her that it could be a long day and that it would be just fine if she wanted to wait back for a bit, but she didn’t want to miss a thing. 
I also checked in with a very dear friend who is like a sister to me, Stephanie (a.k.a Ephie). During my pregnancy I asked her to attend the birth, as she’s a nurse (and a Mommy of two little girls) and has a very confident & calm demeanor. Furthermore, I knew that she would also help balance my anxious Mama.
My Mom and Ephie both arrived around the same time, which I believe was around 9-9:30 AM. Between my amazing husband, mother, and Ephie, I was surrounded by so much love and support. And even more so once Mary arrived later. I felt so grateful to own this incredible experience.
As the morning continued, Paco & Ephie took turns rubbing my lower back and pushed my hips inward to give me some relief during each contraction, which were now roughly every 8-10 minutes apart and about 30-45 seconds long. This trend continued for what seemed like awhile. In the mean time, it was a beautiful first day of June. The sun was shining; there was a refreshing breeze. We sat outside and I was able to chat between contractions. I also walked around the backyard and stopped to lean on one of our trees when a contraction flooded over my lower back. The noises of nature were comforting. I also relied on the birth ball to lean over during contractions or I was on all fours. I continued to do these things and was able to relax in between the cramping, until the late afternoon arrived. That’s about the time when Mary first came over to check on me, as I was beginning to feel the most uncomfortable up to that point. After Mary checked me (I think I was about 4 centimeters dilated and almost fully effaced) and observed my demeanor, she decided it was best for me to rest in a quiet place; she would stay close by and return to our house when my contractions were closer together and more intense. In the mean time, she encouraged me to utilize a mantra to either say in my mind or out loud during each contraction… and to remember to keep breathing well.
Shortly after Mary left, I threw up again and thought my water broke while I was heaving over, but no, it was just my urine – oops! Thankfully, Ephie helped me out with that incident (thanks, Eph). I also sat in the shower one more time with the hot water pouring on my lower back. Gosh, I was grateful more than ever for water that day! Paco was in the bathroom with me, helping me work through it all the while. A little later, he & I went to our bedroom to lie down together. I needed to try and rest as much as possible, for I was enduring about 15 hours of labor up to that point. Paco later told me that this part of the day he cherished the most because it was just him & I in our bed working through it together… and he was so amazed to witness how strong I was as I worked through each contraction that came over me; like big waves crashing against mountains of rocks in the ocean (imagining that scenario was helpful). Moving forward, my contractions were starting to come closer together (about every 5 minutes; 45 seconds to a minute or so long). As they came and went, I would tell the contraction to roll out of my body… I believe “out” was the operative word!! In my mind, I was also saying, “…find the light out, find the light out…” and kept repeating that in my head.
Mary returned in the evening and after checking me, we were relieved that I had made good progress over the past hours since she had left. Mary then said it was ok for me to get into the birth tub. I believe it was now after 8pm… I remember glancing out the big picture window in the front room of our house (where we had the birth tub set up) and thinking as I was about to get into the tub, “..The sun is setting already…” Wait, what?! Already?! But ooohhh, the warm water was heaven!! I was granted some much needed short-term relief. The birth tub was awesome and made me feel like we were about to turn the page (so to speak) on my labor journey.
The next 4 and a half hours proved to be the hardest hours of my life, and yet the most surreal. I felt like I was in a completely different world. Mary & Paco sat beside me outside the tub. My Mama and Ephie sat back, but near. Mary calmly spoke words of encouragement to me as the contractions began to come on hard and strong and much closer together. My astonishing, loving husband continued to rub and rub (and rub!) my lower back. He was my rock the entire day. We played soft music in the background; a mix of some of my favorite songs that Penélope & I often listened to throughout my pregnancy. A candle that Ephie brought with her was lit next to the tub. The setting was perfect and all that I had hoped for as I worked through the labor pains. Being at home, I was able to control my environment and was in tune with my body as it worked so hard all day long. Steadily, my uterus opened up and allowed Penélope to come down and further down. Mary was checking baby girl’s heartbeat every 15 minutes while I was in the water… her “bu-boom, bu-boom” was perfect the whole time. She did so awesome as we both worked long and hard that day and night.
I was starting to feel the urge to push, finally! I was truly scared and a bit apprehensive at first, but also relieved to know that I was finally entering this phase. I told Mary that I was scared… I was feeling the control slip away. She said that was ok and that it was a good sign; to just surrender to what was happening. So I did. The clock tick-tocked over to the next day – June 2, 2009. I was exhausted and yet was going to find every ounce of energy left in me to push my baby down and out. The pressure on my bottom was unbelievable. For lack of better words, it felt like my butt was going to split in half! But Mary reassured me again that that was really good – Penélope was coming down – and to relish on the fact that she was descending further and further down. I started to hesitantly push with each contraction. I was still in the water and in a squatting position, which felt the most natural to me. Mary was allowing me the space to do what my body felt was right, while she quietly monitored each minute of my progress. Paco held my hands tightly as I pushed. I could feel his amazing energy as I squeezed so hard (thank you, my love!).
The time is now near or just after 1:00 AM. I’m feeling confident with my pushing now; I’m not hesitating any longer. At one point I reached down into the water and I could feel the top of Penélope’s head with my hand – she’s so close! During one of my pushes my bag of waters broke – POP! I shouted to Mary that I felt a big ‘POP’. The activity in the room started to rise. Nichole & Angie (Mary’s assistants that evening) were already there, but I don’t clearly remember what time they had arrived. However, I do remember noticing them as they so gently sat near the tub and recorded each important moment. Forward to 1:20-ish AM – I felt my biggest push yet coming on. I remained in a squatting position. Penélope’s head was crowning even more now. This moment was monumental, as I remember thinking, “I’m going to make this happen now.” 1:22 AM! – I focused all my energy down for my final big push and as I did just that, her head fully came out, then the rest of her slipped right out! I picked her up out of the water and placed her on my chest right away – oh my goodness, there you are, beautiful!! Our baby girl was finally in my arms!! That moment was the most amazing & surreal moment that I have ever experienced. There are no words to fully express how I was feeling when I first saw her. She was so beautiful, healthy, and thriving already!
Roughly 15 minutes after Penélope was born, I pushed my placenta out. Mary began to inspect my placenta and after a couple minutes became a little concerned. She explained (very calmly, of course) that a membrane was missing; it had not detached from the lining of my uterus properly. The girls quickly got me out of the tub. I was losing somewhat of an alarming amount of blood (I had also torn just a little bit in two spots on my labia), but it was hard to gage how much blood I was losing because of the water in the tub. As I was lying on the floor next to the tub, Mary was able to pull the membrane out and stabilized the situation very quickly and without panic. A shot of pitocin then helped my uterus to keep on contracting to prevent any more major blood loss. I truly felt ok all the while. I was on cloud 9! Paco was cradling our daughter in his arms and was so very relieved that everything was stabilized (later talking with my husband and mama, that moment was a bit scary for them to witness because of the apparent blood loss).
Once the energy settled, Penélope, Paco and I were all placed in our bed. Just before that, my dearest Ephie hugged and kissed goodbye, as she tiredly ventured home in the wee hours of that morning. My Mama gently lingered near us while Mary and the girls checked mine & Penélope’s vitals and did all the newborn checks. We were all exhausted and in dire need of sleep, which is just what we did. But first, I bathed in those first moments with my first-born baby girl and husband. We were in heaven. We were a family now. All the pain that I just endured for those 23 hours already seemed so far away. And even though I was so exhausted from the long labor, I would truly do it all over again just the same. The experience of laboring in my own home, being in tune with my body as it steadily allowed nature to take its course, and birthing my baby girl in the water, was all just amazing. It was the very least that I could do for my baby; to give birth to her in our home that is filled with so much love.
Before leaving, Mary kissed me on the forehead and told me how proud she was of me, which meant so much. I am so deeply thankful of her support that day and throughout my pregnancy. All of them – Mary, Nichole, & Angie were all phenomenal. I woke up later that morning to find a home that didn’t look like a birth had just happened there, yet the energy remained so magical throughout. Paco, my Mom, and I were all so impressed with Mary & the girls’ detailed work and were filled with so much gratitude. It was also wonderful for family to join us in celebration in our home later that day.
To conclude my story, I want to highlight ALL of the wonderful women at the birth center. Especially, Aszani, Anastasia, and Mary, as they each touched my heart in a special way that made me feel safe and confident throughout my pregnancy. When Paco & I first walked into the birth center on that cold afternoon in January 2009, we left knowing that I was meant to be under their care. I am beyond grateful towards all of the women at the birth center who contributed to my experience in some way, as they truly gave me the utmost quality of pre and postnatal care.
And to my dearest Arlinda – You saved me during some of my hardest breast feeding moments after Penélope was born and for that I am so grateful – Thank you!! Even after Penélope was a couple months old, you continued to call and check to see how we were doing. Hearing from you would just make my day and would also remind me that I was more than capable of establishing that bond with my baby, which has evolved into such an awesome and rewarding connection between her & me (still going strong at 16 months old!).
Again, thank you to ALL, from the bottom of our hearts.
Love,
Fernando, Andrea, & Penélope Alvarez
